Navigating Sexual Issues in Long Term Relationships
The importance of sex in a relationship cannot be overrated; it might as well be the ignition of the relationship. In a relationship where both partners just started their love and breath down each other’s neck, this sex could be an issue. What happens when partners have had their fill of each other?
It would undoubtedly get to a stage where you’ll wonder if you were truly ever sexually attracted to your partner because they seem not to be getting you sexually. You think it has all been a fluke like you have been deceiving yourself. Truthfully, no. It’s just the familiarity playing tricks on you.
Here’s the thing, how about reviving the sexual spark in your relationship? If it’s not fun, then it’s not giving, so why not bring in the fun?
Here are ways to navigate sexual issues in your long-term relationship
1. Find out what you want.
First things should come first. It’s easy to pick an issue with the other party when you have no idea what it is you want. Have you thought about what you want when it comes to sex yourself? Hear me out; sex is more than missionary; it’s more than the kisses on your lips or the saliva sharing. What exactly are your sexual fantasies? What are your deepest desires when it comes to sex? This is the basis of finding a way to solve sex issues with your partner.
2. Have a sex schedule.
As funny as it sounds, yes, I know it’s funny, but it’s also a thing to do. In these busy days when you have to work and would rather not touch anything not on your schedule, having a schedule for sex helps prepare you for sex. You see, with a calendar, you already know in advance when it would be time for sex, and this would enable you to prepare accordingly for the time such that you won’t feel pressured or cajoled into sex and, of course, you’ll be in the right frame of mind.
3. Tell your partner what you want
You should not assume your partner is aware of your preference for the monkey in the garden style. For all it’s worth unless you communicate it one way or the other, your partner would not know what your sexual desire is because they do not read minds. Another essential tip to note to avoid or navigate issues in your relationship is communicating your sexual desires and fantasies with your partner. Tell them what you want and how you want it. Teach them exactly how you want to be pleasured, or would you rather ask me to pleasure you? of course not. So stick to your person and express how naughty and crazy you want things to get.
4. Find out what your partner wants
It’s not just enough for your partner to know what you want; it won’t solve all the challenges. You should also find out what your partner wants. The best sex is one where both parties get pleasure and enjoy it. As you communicate your desires to your partner, also find out theirs or ask theirs. Do not ever invalidate their desire, calling it names or ewwing it. What's that rubbish behavior?
5. Explore with your partner
Routine or same-pattern sex is boring; issues start springing up when sex has always been the same, and sparks start getting lost. It’s time to explore; sex is meant to be explored regularly. Try out new fantabulous styles and methods, find out which one resonates with you and your partner, and get on to it. The thrill of trying out new fantasies and methods can always bring back the dwindling sparks, and your sex life gets back to normal.
6. Do not compare
Sometimes, you have issues because you are busy comparing your sexual life to someone else, either your bestie (that your partner shouldn't worry about) or your ex-partner. This is the point to remember that your current partner is not the other person or your bestie, so you shouldn’t compare what they can or cannot do to what the others can do. Rather, communicate your opinion, your needs, and desires; there’s no wrong or right in sex; there’s simply preference. Cheating on the basis of sex is not justifiable, cheating is cheating.
7. It’s the little things
I promise you; it’s not a cliche; it’s really the little things. The little things, helping your partner remove their shoes, clothes, or that red G-string, could go a long way in reigniting the spark and setting the atmosphere in the right mood. It’s not just about having sex or diving straight to enjoy your partner’s body, it’s also about how well you have prepared them to enjoy sex with you.
8. Seek therapy when needed.
Truthfully, sometimes it’s just all behind these tips. Especially when you have tried them all, and it just seems not to work. Therapy is an option. You can attend these sessions with your partner to figure out just where the issues are coming from and what you are probably doing wrongly or joy doing at all.
Well, couples in long-term relationships would most likely encounter issues regarding their sexual life, and the key to solving those challenges lies in both lovers. With the above tips, it’s safe to say couples who use them are ready to work to bring back their sexual fire and navigate their issues.
By Oyebisi Oyelami.